its been another so many days. ive had no journal to write in since my last one got done, and i have been trying hard to stay verbally retentive; i find alot of the small blocks of inspiration ive picked up the last couple of weeks, somehow disintigrate and fly away the moment i sit here with intention to throw it all up in a hurry.
in the last week ive managed to surprise my friends and make them very happy, i;ve managed to meet up with people i havent seen for years, i've been able to spend some quality time with my grandma, and even a fun evening chaperoning almost-teenagers (endearing as hell i have to say!), i also managed to piss the shit out of a very close friend, lost an electronic posession (damnit) and been warned, in so many words, to un-crush myself (tsk, tsk!).
i seem to still be struggling with the redundant 'what should i do with my life' question. should i come back for two years and teach at a school? or should i finally make my way to the grand U S of A to start my PhD?
which shall it be, old girl? which?
i'm still super kicked about the two B+'s i got for last semesters Community Psych and Cultural Psych. i must be smart somehow, right? good grades always boost my ego more than most compliments. blah. who wants to know anyhow.
interestingly enough, a few (i shant say several because that would be a LIE), a FEW select freinds, who i havent been constantly connected with, but who pretty much know about what little drama my life holds, have called me over the last two posts to ask why i was still obsessing over a certain old flame. I was reminded of a movie i recently saw where it was said that if it takes longer than 2 to 5 years to get over an ex-lover, one may be regarded as clinically insane. a friend further went on to remind me that if in fact i was still gaga over this one boy, its been a good six years so i better 'snap the shit out of it'.
first... chillaout.
second, why dont people leave these dramatic little comments on my blog?
third, the last post is NOT derived from ex-boy inspiration.
i do think im finished with that scene. i feel absolutely exhausted with trying to keep up with ridiculousness of it all. Frankly, dear, like they say, i dont give a damn.
im happy for now, you should know. not content, not overjoyed. just simply alright with the way things are. some shit has been absolutely rubbish (i.e. pissed of friend and un-crush), but on the other hand, some things have turned out so well. so yeah, for now i'm happy.
lets see how long that lasts :P
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