don't walk. STRIDE.

procrastination proves to be a long lasting friend. but one of those who stick around until just before the bill appears, or the one who refuses to ever buy cigarettes but is constantly bumming them off you, or the kind that sits around in your house all day, takes the best pieces of your food and then has to go home right when you need them.
blah.
home isnt far away at all.
I find it funny that i refer to india as home.
it doenst feel so much as going back home than it feels as if im going for a holiday.
home like everything else is so relative, and so not constant at all.
Singapore rains at christmas.
but singapore never floods. *touch wood*
thats not the point anyway.

the point is my friends,
that we are all two sides of a coin.
all of us, hypocrites in our own way.
its hard for us to be everythign and only that all the time.
weve found an urge to please people,
to run with the crowd.
the fight for survival somehow lost its rawness along the way.
the topic thats been intriguing me these few weeks has been lonliness.
sometimes it does seem almost as if i advocate being completely alone and finding no need for anyone else in you life becaus eyou fullfill yourself.
but thats a worng statement.
however, this battle that some of us face when being put in a situation
less populated, its a little overrated,
and most of us do overreact.
i am picky,
and pricy,
catty,
nitty,
choosy
when in comes to picking my friends.
ive learnt enough, lost enough, been given back enough
to know that there is so much more to friendship than a tool for company.
there comes trust, comfort, loyalty, truth, togetherness.
i dont think im ready yet to make friends just for the sake of mere company.
but then again thats just me.

i can go back, in my imagination,
i can filter all my thoughts through,
and go back home.
i remember the group of friends who would spend hours at the hospital,
just hanging around, even while i was alseep,
the ones that force fed me when i coudlnt eat,
the ones that held my hair back when i puked,
the ones that ran to the hospital when my brother was violently sick,
the ones infron of whom i could cry
the ones with whom i could spend a million nights just talking to, without any real need for intoxication,
the ones that would come over every day for just 30 mins just to hang for a while.
the ones that would bother so much about how i would get home,
the ones who took care of me when i was too drunk to do it myself,
the ones who made so much of an effort to make me laugh,
the ones who would stick by,
the ones who never took a yard if i gave them an inch,
the ones who told me i looked gorgeous even if i was fat
the ones who would spend the whole night with me, awake, watching ove rme,
because i was afraid to be alone.
the ones who stood up for me when other were beating me down.

ive had a few friends who've done all this and more for me.
I dont need to make friends for the company.
if its company i need,
i already have it.
me.