melodroma

the morning begins at 1:30 pm. my eyes dont feel as heavy as they did yesterday when i woke up at 9 30 trying to force myself ot sytudy for the last exam. but then i reasoned with myself. its never good when i reason with myself, because i usuall always end up doing the stupid thing, making myself believe it isnt that stupid after all. so i spoke to myself, which is a habit i need to learn to get out of because it causes me embarrasment on MRT's, at starbucks and other public places; not ot mention the swimming pool where im constantly berating myself for not having good stamina. but back to the point. i spoke to myself.
"dude, you've hardly studied at all this year. you're going to try to study for the next few hours and you actually think thats going to help you pass your paper?"
reason 'nuff.


so my basic point is that my eyes dont feel as heavy. and my other point is that im still a lazy cow. enevloped in love found in the most unexpected place, but enveloped anyhow. thats a good thing right? of course right.
but whats a tad disappointing is that i dont feel the end-of exams relife i used to feel when i was in school. i remeber that feeling was always almost ethereal.
but i guess as you grow older these small places where you find immense pleasure seem to have no importance anymore.

the disillusoinment of childhood.
*sigh*
to laugh like you really feel it trotting gaily through your body.

i cant even use gaily without picturing two men making out.
why is growing up so painful sometimes?