Deterioration

and as time passes, all the sharp edges get filed down to blunter corners. it is the inevitable deterioration of a relationship. and still the obligation to love each other remains, but changes. we were once constantly compelled to be completely honest and truthful with one another, but now we keep our lives as our own, and tell only what need to be told, as if politely excusing ourselves from the ramifications of the childishly honest tongue. my utter derision for carefully prepared truths seems to be of no proper use, since after five beautiful and ugly years, i see no other way it could have worked.

now i choose to follow the steps that unfurl instead of planning eactly how to walk the walk, because if i am being honest, i dont know how. so i live the only way that makes sense to me, the only way that will provide for me some amount of happiness or even temorary satisfaction. i indulge where i am tempted and i hold back, reagrdless of his existance in my life. i find myself less inspired to live two as one, and i propell myself into living the one for one life. and still as the pinches of regret and hope squirm around uncomfortably, i find myself on the peripheries of a happier time.

such it will remain, until affections change or continents collide.