.

i wasnt expecting to feel that rush of tightly knotted emotion when he handed over my certificate and congratulated me. my strict policies on making scenes in public, and years of practice helped me keep it all in, subdued, quiet and nonexistant. but back in my room, i exploded in a fit of rage and cried, and threw it all out of my body. and in that same mad state, i tore up all the books, all the pages of writing, of study. i tore them up and threw them away.

im not done. theres much left that needs to be expelled. but im on my way to something new. to something big. 

i need to learn to think purely and singularly by myself, unaffected by choices of others, or others choosing to choose what i must choose. 

singapore. go fuck yourself.