silver skinned

i wish i could lose myself in some vague and irrational, possessing belief, instead of being so wrapped up in unwrapping the many layers that i believe consist everything. maybe, infact, that is my vague and irrational, possessing belief; that everything is made up of superficial layers.

if i could just be engulfed in complete and absolute thought, maybe i could being alone wouldn't feel as bad as it does good.

i find it truly difficult to sustain social interaction, even the minimum.

it makes me nauseous and nervous.

sometimes i believe i dumb down to survive, evolutionary instinct.

or just plan paths to crazy.