giant leaps of faith.

and i feel it finally.
the painful want that stirs in the deepest point of my gut and radiates through me, to my eyes and fingers and knees.
and i feel overwhelmed by it, my breath feels cut short, cut off.

i am the holder of secrets.
i harbor all their little lies and deceit, their dark confessions, their embarrassing joys. and i say not a word of it.

now i harbor yours and mine.
and the nails of madness, that spike through me, shut my mouth
and open my soul,
my treacherous mind to new oldness, that i had longed for,
and now undeservedly got, i fear no more for you.
and just for me.

i wanted to fall.
so i jumped.