cogito ergo sum. but..?

3 this morning, while I was still trying to fall asleep I got a call from V asking me what I thought about destiny. I find myself clamming up a lot of recent when faced with the ideas of destiny, fate, religion, existence and god; which is strange because I always have harbored strong feelings on a certain side and believed in it whole heartedly. However off late, at this point in my life I find myself constantly contradicting myself in terms of what I believe in and what I’ve been told to believe in; which is a good thing I suppose since I am consciously trying to but a barrier between my choices and the choices of others. Nevertheless, point remains that for now, I’m contradictory.

I had a conversation with this guy a few months ago, he felt pricked that I considered myself an atheist. He brought on this idea of god, not a religious god, but a logical god. And he went on about how it could all be defined once the binary system, that now only consists of 1’s and 0’s, opens up to consist of whatever comes in-between the 1’s and 0’s; all together too confusing for me of course, and in the end I think he confused himself too. But for me, that conversation made me think a little differently about the existence of God; on one hand, in terms of the religious god and on the other, in terms of the logical god.

I have very firmly put my hand down about religion and the god concerned with. But then the logical god?

Logic I think comes predominantly from the origin of numbers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 0. Thus we assigned value and thus came the origin of mathematics and when you get down to the nitty gritty of it, all other sciences. And from this system of numbers and values we have everything today, electricity, cars, cable, internet, architecture, drainage systems, music and calendars. All from the process of math and numbers.

One thing.
What if we got it all wrong right from the beginning?!
What if we left out a value, what if value is purely symbolic of human greed, and its existence is purely cogito ergo sum, I think therefore I am.

Thus coming back to the logical god. Must there be a power because we HAVE to have come from something. People keep going on about how energy cannot be created or destroyed, but they forget that this rule applies sole to the power of the human brain at this moment in time. People said we can’t fly, or talk across space or stand on the moon, I won’t go on, but you get my drift.

What is this logical god? And how are we all so friggin sure that we got our math correct?

See what I mean? Or do you?
I’m already confusing myself. I don’t particularly like this place in-between, not really able to figure out what’s what, since I like having my place and standing firm in it and making faces at those who walk by with their own separate different theories.

But I’m going to make sense of it.
And maybe I should be a little less intolerant.

Until then, I know I exist. Since I’m thinking.
And you all, well you might as well be my imagination.