essentially i.

all i feel is conflicted.
as more memories gather in my head, the older i feel. did i live enough then?
i wonder whats chnaged about me between then and now.
my mind, body, spirit, beliefs, thoughts, love, hope, confidence, hair, clothes, friends.
sometimes its almost as if all that wasn't really me.

this morning, while in the lift, i looked at my reflection.
it was me. who i am and who i will always be.
but it just seemed like a vehicle, like an empty vessel.
when you strip away the clothes and the designer shoes, the books, the eyes, the hair, the radical new age time travelling thoughts, when you strip the skin off my bones and my bones off my body, that is me.
essentially pumping blood to my brain and to my heart.
living.
merely surviving.