theresa magnificata

i have been longing to see her for a long time. i was here before i didnt get the chance to see her, and one of my main reasons for returning was her. i walked around today for too long looking for it. people kept giving me wrong directions. either i wasnt saying it right, or i coudlnt understand them correctly. either way, i did have a good afternoon just walking around, in what seemed for the longest time to be in circles. and finally i kinda figured out where exactly it was on the map. so onwards i went. i passed it without even knowing, the exterior had been covered up for renovations, but that was the place, Santa Maria Della Vittoria. as i went in, i felt excited and somehow, a little nervous. i walked slowly. the curch was smaller than i expected and dim. but i knew excatly where she was the moment i set foot inside the church. when i finally saw her, all melodrama aside, i had to hold my breath.

The ecstacy of Saint Theresa, by Bernini. it is one of the most beautiful sculptures i have ever seen. you may almost expect her to actually be breathing and moaning. her body seems to be rocked by a full orgasm, like its rippling within her. but her face, all in ecstacy, seems so terribly calm and strong and in control. it doesnt seem like a woman who is being used by anything or anyone. she seems like all within herself, the world, the universe, the entirety of space. the seraphim by her side seems to be worthless. the story says he gave her the ecstasy. however, the way i see it, he is smiling because she did it all by herself. she didnt need a man, a god or a child. she found everything within herself. and thus in the wake of full self awerness and complete self acceptance, her mind and her body were overcome by the purest state of wholeness and love.

i have felt so drawn to see her, and i feel almost new now that i have.
Italy always does hold great promise.

tomorrow, the vatican, st. peters cathedreal and ponte sant angelo. Ponte sant angelo was another stop that i couldnt make the last time i was here. its the bridge, i think built by emperor hadrian, lined with huge sulcptures of ten angels.

like i said, great promise.
everyday im looking forward to tomorrow.