i hate hard work. i do believe i was made specifically for hedonism. but it almost makes me sad, how i thrive under pressure. also im eating way too much cheese. and i truly do hate cooking. also, i drink too much, and i do wish people would complain less. and i wish i had less work and less study and no grammar rules. and i do miss my speakers. whats more, i miss having a washing machine, and the lights in my apartment are not bright enough.
on the other hand, i am on this beautiful island that has rainbow sky sunsets. it also had the truest blue waters and snow capped mountains. the beach is a minutes walk away from my apartment. and the walk to school is always a sight for sore eyes. the weather here is perfect, and im already quite tan! my teachers and observers are the role models i should have had when i was 12, and their genuine guidance and love for their profession has helped me grow so much. and i have had the oppertunity of meeting wonderful ladies who have inspired me that i may have never to stop doing what i love. also, my dark cirlces are fading. and the vegetables are so good here, i drool. and the beautiful harbor makes me feel more and more at home everyday.
I wake up early. but i find myself smiling often.
i think its because im actually here.
also i think its because im teaching, and it feels so fucking natural.
plus, im conquoring so many fears.
and the guy next door at the bakery, well good looking men who smell like cookies. how could i not smile.
next week is going to be a bitch. but i will not ever complain, or regret.
i dont think i have found any muse or literary inspiration; and i probably will never find one again.
but i feel peaceful, as if it were innate.
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